Nothing Special

Today I did some shopping at Big Lots for cheap Halloween decorations then I came home and made some soup.
I totally spaced on Manolo and feel ready bad about it.
I don’t now where this drive to want to be perfect comes from. I hated people like me when I was young and I don’t like people like me now, so how did I become this person? Who really wants to be liked by everyone anyway?
I should not give two terds about what other people think of me.
More and more though I just want to stay home and not do anything social.
I had friends here in Tampa but for whatever reason I have pushed them all away or just blatantly ignored them. Not because I am tired of them but I just don’t feel like I can get out of the house.
I get up in the mornings and go to work always leaving the same time as Manolo so that I will not be in the house alone. Then I work, and then I go to school and finally I head home to be with Manolo. I don’t really want to do anything else. It is kind of sad but I think this town is starting to wear me out.
Or maybe I am just standing in the middle of my dark tunnel and can’t see light from either end so I am feeling hopeless and discouraged.
The past two weeks off of school really just give me enough time to get a taste of the “boring” life style that I so miss and yearn for.
Be here for another two years so I am sure you will be hearing more about this.
Sorry if it seems so down but I am just not feeling it this week.