Truck Stop

I sit and think the truck stop café of my mind…

I think I need a change of weather
I want to feel the soft skin on my hands crack and bleed from the cold breeze
I want the feeling of a scratchy sweater on my moist skin
I need to feel the weight of mutable blankets on my bed pressing my body into a cocoon position
These are some of the things that make me feel alive

I miss the feeling of time pass
Stop this purgatory life I am living

Stella got her grove back

I broke my routine last night and decided that after school I was going to go downtown to take some pictures and do some thinking. This is not abnormal for me because I used to do this when I was single, a long time ago. As I walked the streets there were a few homeless people that were huddled up on the old church steps and I couldn’t help but think about how I could be sitting there with them or I could return tomorrow with some hot soup to knock the chill off. As cautions as I have to be walking the dark streets in downtown I headed for more familiar territory, The Hub. This is a little bar my husband and our friends meet at from time to time. Upon my approach I see two men at an ATM, at this point my guard goes up and I begin to look around. As the two men walk from under the direct light to the street light I notice that they look vaguely familiar.
Hey… Wait… Is that…
Hey Manolo and Freddy!
It is my husband and our friend and they were just as shocked to see me as I was to see them.
Hey we are going to the Cotton Club, want to come?
Sure I was staring to get followed by some guy anyway. Let’s go!
What are the chances that I go to be alone and think and there is my husband walking the dark streets of downtown. Scary after being with someone for some time how you meet on the same level all the time.
So we jump in the car and head to Cotton Club.
This experience needs to be thought about before committing to paper so please stay tuned for the rest of the story.

The Weakest Link

Have you ever tried your hardest to be really efficient and productive at something only to find that you are wasting your time?
Why does being successful at everything push people to do things they never wanted to do in the first place?
I am having one of those weeks been everything I touch turns to poop.
When I try to think nothing comes out and if something does come out it ends up being really bad.
Every move I make is turning into five more moves I have to take to fix what I have just did.
O MY GOD I am having the hardest time concentrating with rap boy next to me.
I am walking around with my frowny face on way too much and I have to do something about that.
Lets see what can I do that will turn my frown upside down?
Quit my job
Run away
Go on a binge
I think I really need a binge right about now
My levels are way too high even for meditation to fix

Why do I write this shit?
Does anyone really read this?
Why do any of you read this?

Sorry this can’t be buttoned up in just one entry so until next time all my little friends.
More to come.
PS Sorry to all for my bad attitude.

Out of bed

Sorry that I have not been keeping up with my blog lately but I have a house full of people and it is not always the easiest to get to the computer. By the way all my settings have been converted to Spanish so if I am not coming across clearly it is becasue everything is set up for Spanish.
Other occurences in the house include parties and lots of eatting. Among all this fun I have manager to catch a cold.
Sorry to report that I am tired and need to make this short because I am going back to bed.
Thanks ya’ll for stoping by and I hope to be up and running soon.

At Home

Medial tasks of the weekend:
Enjoy time with my sweetie
Paint new television stand
Take pictures
Watch the sun come up
Get new insurance
Dress porch for the Harvest
Watch television
Work on portfolio
Do some homework

Sorry this isn’t deep writing but this is the way my thoughts are working right now. Nothing is longer then a task list. Focusing is extremely hard for me right now. I hope this doesn’t last long but it seems to have a good grip on me and I don’t see it letting go anytime soon. I will work on opening my focus mojo this week and hopefully I will be able to give you some substance.
Until next time my readers.

One more thing…
I got a blister on my left foot and I think I am getting arthritis in my hands.

Here is one of my pictures, I hope you enjoy it.

Treasure

I have been having some trouble with my car lately and my husband and I are entertaining the idea of selling the thing and getting something a little bigger. Our family is growing but our car is not, so I was in the storage area searching desperately for the title of my car, which was sent to me about three years ago. To be quite honest with you the last time I remember seeing the darn thing was when I opened the envelop and ran around the house waving the title in air screaming with total joy that I would no longer have a stupid car payment.
Long story short…
I didn’t find it.
However I did find this disc with some pictures on it and my curiosity got the best of me so I popped it into Shamus (our computer) and this is what I found.




This is a picture of my dad throwing the ashes of my mom into San Francisco Bay.
I was unable to attend. It made me sad to see but I am trying to find the positive in it and I have come to this…
(I take a deep breath and a sip of wine)
She is not here to help me along with the rest of my life but every time I look in the mirror I see her starring back at me.

I am glad I found this…
I needed this…