Bad kittie! RUFF!

I am not the kind of person who sees a box full of kittens and melts into a puddle of perfume smelling pink gue only to say to myself “That is why God created this world, so that I can see the beauty of this fluffy meow machine.”
I am not a cat person, I don’t show pictures of my cats to anyone or talk about the things they do and how they are just like humans because I know that no one gives a shit.
But right now as I type the Arismendy house is in an uproar. My cat is staring me down because he is just now realizing that he is not the ruler of the house and he can no longer pick on us humans. He has declared all out war on the legs of this family and has even gone to such lengths as to attack the friends of this family. I will take this NO MORE!

There will be no more:
Hissing at people trying to open the door
Fake leg rubes for food (as if you really care, if you had thumbs you wouldn’t even acknowledge us)
Picking on Easter! (my girl cat)
Free for alls with buddies down the street
Laying in the clean laundry

Poncho will stop acting like a teenage boy doing things souly out of spite. Like for instance today he hissed at me and attacked my leg, to show his dominance I am sure.
So I laid him down and stood over him lightly holding him down and he kind of conformed but not really. Then after letting him up he showed me he wanted out so I walk over to the door and he attacked at my leg again. So NO! he is not going out side and he will wait till I am ready to let him out.
A few minutes pass and I go back to the door calling “Go outside” in my best speed whisper voice trying to entice him to the door.
Well he’s not haven it and promptly sites on the living room floor looking at me like “Yeah right bitch, don’t talk down to me, I am the king here.”
So I closed the door and he will be in the house for the rest of the night.
And this weekend I am going to take him for a ride to the vets for some shots!

I feel for all the mothers with teenage kid!
And if my mother were still alive I would call her to apologize for all the crap I did to her!