I have not had a chance to stop and think about my last entry, but I sold the car and have all my homework in.
I did however have the opportunity to watch a re-run of the documentary called “Crazy, Sexy Cancer”.
Not that I am trying to make a habit of staying up late and watching documentaries and crying for hours on end. As I was watching it it occurred to me that my voice on the issue of women with cancer seems to be drowned out in my head by all the other voices with their own stories. I felt lost in my own head knowing full well that I am not alone and those others, a mass of people, are also feeling the same loss. I watched this show and thought about my mom, who was a 7 year survivor of Brest cancer until she was taken by a spreading of Bone cancer throughout her body. I watched these strong willed women and their bodies change with the signs of cancer. The swelling limbs, the lose of hair, tubes coming from versus pars of their bodies and I thought what overwhelming power they have. I can only wish that I was there for my mom when she went through that. The problem with my mom; however, was that she was a very private woman and kept much of her cancer to herself. I envy these women who have the strength to get mad and speak out because my mom didn’t and never wanted to. I can’t help but think that if she had she might be here today still fighting.
I just can't put in word the deep respect I have for those who can look death in the face, throw there arms up (ballerina style) and skip away smiling. There way of saying "You will get me soon enough but until then, you will not bother me, now shuw"